So today has been pretty good, overall.
Despite my continuing sleep problems, I managed to make it to work by 9:15 again. Woke up at around 2am and 4am last night; not happy! D:
The day started like it usually does, but with one twist, and this threw me off completely. Guess that’s just my Asperger’s being my Asperger’s… Our daily stand-up meeting basically turned in to somewhat of a discussion about process management, etc. which in and of itself is fine by me, but the problem was the time it took.
Usually we take about 15 minutes. Today, it lasted for a good 25 minutes. Leaving me nervous and anxious because:
- I hadn’t taken my meds beforehand, and I know that being late on those is bad.
- Usually it’s no big deal if I’m half an hour late, but when I start getting anxious or stressed, being on time with my meds becomes more and more of a concern.
- I had that all important catch up meeting with HR and my Manager scheduled for exactly half an hour after the stand-up was supposed to start.
- So basically, this tiny disruption in what I’d come to know as routine, threw me off completely.
I managed to make it to the catch-up, panting and apologizing for being 2 minutes late. Everything was fine. I need to learn to live with these fluctuations; but ever since I lost the use of my legs, everything is affecting me more than ever.
So, back to the topic at hand.
IT WAS APPROVED! 😀
I can’t say how happy I am to be with this company. They are AMAZING people. Basically I’ll now have Mondays and Tuesdays off, so I can start working my way up to a full working week again (Because right now, that’s not possible with any sort of consistency, and consistency is what we all want).
In two weeks, we’ll have another catch up meeting, to see how things are going. If we can continue like this (IE: Am I now consistent in my working hours / output), or if we need to rethink the whole thing. Eventually, the plan is to work up to four days of work a week, and then finally five days again.
I can’t say at this point when that is going to be; but it needs to be “soon™” – The two week review will also include the possibility of going up to four days a week, or other suggestions / alterations.
Whew. I was so nervous about this meeting. I was scared it wouldn’t be approved, and what I’d do if it didn’t.
The rest of the day, my energy levels remained pretty much steady, although, as usual, they started plummeting at around 3pm again, so I left at 4… The goal of this pacing plan is that I can get full days of work done, and not half or three quarter or whatever.
As for my mood right now: Strangely tense again, I don’t know what is causing this, but I have have a suspicion, although it may just be the weirdness of FND…
For now, I’m hoping that I can meet someone from one of the support groups I’m in some time soon; meeting someone in person is so much better than chatting on Facebook. If I can make at least one or two friends with the help of this plan at work, I think I’d be pretty well off.
I’m now also ready to look in to possible therapeutic activities that I can do; other than writing this journal. One person suggested that riding might be an option, and to be completely honest? I’m all for that. Some people that know me, may have heard me speak up against horses, but in reality, that was just me trying to fit in.
I did a bit of riding when I was about 12 I think, and I absolutely loved it back then, so maybe the RDA will be able to help me there. We’ll see, for now, I need a somewhat quiet weekend to recharge before I do anything drastic.
I also need to remember that just because I now have those two extra days of “freedom”, I still need to pace myself; I still need energy for work, and all the other days of the week.